


my brother, hail and farewell

by hufflebee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, immortal!alec, not alec or magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 15:29:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11877453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflebee/pseuds/hufflebee
Summary: He stands by Max’s bedside, alone, and takes in the gray in his hair, the numerous wrinkles on his face, and the wedding band on his left ring finger. He’s had a good, long life, Alec knows, but knowing and feeling rarely line up in these situations. He gives his brother’s cold hand one final squeeze, before turning away, willing himself not to cry, at least not yet.





	my brother, hail and farewell

Alec had known it was coming, of course he had. Every Silent Brother, every warlock, every medic that had examined him had given him somewhere between two to four weeks. Still, the sight of his little brother’s lifeless body wasn’t something he would have ever been ready for.

He stands by Max’s bedside, alone, and takes in the gray in his hair, the numerous wrinkles on his face, and the wedding band on his left ring finger. He’s had a good, long life, Alec knows, but knowing and feeling rarely line up in these situations. He gives his brother’s cold hand one final squeeze, before turning away, willing himself not to cry, at least not yet.

When he goes out into the hallway, he’s met with familiar faces, some with Izzy’s eyes, others with Jace’s, some with Clary’s bright red hair, or Max’s blonde locks. Marissa steps in front of him, her eyes ( _Max’s eyes_ ) glassy with unshed tears.

“He’s gone,” Alec whispers, and by the Angel, it takes everything in him not to fall apart at her wretched sob, at her falling forward into his arms. “I’m so sorry.”

Like a wave spreading across the quiet hallway, everyone falls back, tears and sobs and choked off noises creating the worst kind of music. They all huddle together, in pairs or groups, slowly gravitating towards Alec.

Marissa looks up at him after a moment, and Angels, she looks so much like Max, down to her first wrinkles, same as his, right between her eyebrows.

“Thank you for being here, Uncle Alec,” she says, sounding so incredibly young, and there is a sort of dark humor in that, Alec thinks, because at this point, she looks older than him. Marissa falls back into his arms with another sob, and Alec swallows his own tears down just barely, running his hands across her back. Her brother and sister join in, and Alec takes them into his arms as well, as much as he can.

He never thought he’d get used to this, not really, but he’d hoped it would get easier at least. But it never did. He still felt like parts of him were being ripped away whenever he saw his family age and die.

Max had been the last one.

And part of Alec, the logical part, knows this is the way life is. Given the fact that they’re all Shadowhunters, the fact that his parents and siblings lived to see their grandchildren is a blessing. And Alec is thankful for that, he truly is, but it’s hard to focus on being thankful with his nieces and nephew sobbing in his arms, with Izzy’s daughter curled up on the bench with mascara running down her cheeks. It’s hard to focus on that when Jace’s son is falling apart in his husband’s arms two steps away.

At least none of the little ones are there, Alec thinks, trying to find something to hold onto, because he can’t let himself fall apart right now. He tries to focus on thoughts of Magnus and Madzie playing with the kids two rooms away, tries to focus so that maybe he can hear the music of their innocent laughter rather than the broken noises surrounding him now.

He can’t, he knows, but imagining it helps him for now.

* * *

He doesn’t know how long he’d been in that hallway before Marissa and everyone else had cleared out, but suddenly he’s alone, sitting on the bench he’s become too familiar with. Two Silent Brothers had come and gone, and he knows he should start thinking about the funeral, but his mind feels too numb for that.

He doesn’t even notice someone sitting beside him until a warm hand presses against his shoulder.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispers, and when Alec turns, he sees his husband’s eyes dripping with worry and sadness, and that’s all it takes. 

That’s all it takes for Alec to fall apart, to wrap himself up in Magnus as much as he can, to let himself sob and cry and scream. He hears Magnus’ soothing voice, but can’t register the words, and even when he’s all out of noise and tears; he can’t bring himself to move. He stays there, leaning against Magnus, for what feels like hours. He’s half asleep when he feels himself being pulled up to his feet, hears the faint noise of a portal and then he’s home, Magnus’ arms still around him.

Magnus undresses him carefully before doing the same himself, and they fall into bed, their bodies as close as can be. They don’t fall asleep right away, silent tears making their way down their faces, whispered reassurances caught between gentle kisses. But eventually, exhaustion gets the best of them, and Alec’s last thought is of Max.

 _Atque in pepetuum, frater, ave atque vale._  
Forever and ever, my brother, hail and farewell.


End file.
